essay: bullying

Essay: Bullying

Oscar and his diary had a relationship based on love as well as hate. That had been so since their first encounter, which they had on Oscars ninth birthday, when he fiercely unwrapped his aunt Carol's present.
At that moment it was only the fact that it was a present that could make up for what it was in essence: 'A diary'.
Still he had kept it and wrote in it once every while. Sometimes he was glad he had it. That was mainly on the moments he felt really good about himself, during the nights filled with hope and expectations.
But most of the thinly lined pages in the little book with the lock -which he had to break after two weeks allready because he had lost the little key- he had filled with his deepest thoughts and emotions, the ones you only really acknowledge when they come with tears and pains that seem insurmountable.

The following passage is one of those.

Dear diary...
Today they have succeeded. I have lost every last bit of hope.
I am now absolutely positive that I am of no use in this society. If only I were made of glass and all could see inside me, they would see how I feel, they might even understand me... although I don't even dare to hope they would.
Ironicly I am in a way made of glass. But my peers didn't see the same use in my attempts to show the real me. No. They were more interested in another characteristic of the material.
They had been enjoying themselves before trying to crack the my glass cover but today they have broken it and all that it held is seeping out. I relieve the unbearable pain using the shattered pieces of my cover.
I am almost empty now.
so I must say goodbye.
Or maybe farewell would be more honest.

O.

This page was read on Oscar Caulfield's funeral five days after it was written.